Thursday, December 11, 2014

Merry Christmas 2014

I have written this post 100 times over in my head and the words are still hard to write.   But it’s my story.  It’s different from the story I thought I would be telling you all this year, but none the less, it’s my story  and I am holding to the hope that God isn't done with my story yet, and I pray that He can still use it. 

As you can see, our picture has two less kids in it this year. Our two foster children the Lord brought into our home last year this time, are now living with another family.  We believe the Lord was leading us in this decision just as He did when He asked us to have them come and live with us.

A and J lived with us until September of this year.  We loved them fiercely, and still do.  We saw God work in our home while they were here.  We saw our kids show grace and love when things were really tough, (maybe even better than Dave and I at times).  We saw Him send friends our way to be His hands and feet when we were in need of physical help and emotional encouragement.  We saw healing and changes in A and J even though the process is often painful and slow.  And then we saw God leading us in a different direction than we had originally thought.  As more time went by and the longer the kids were in our home, the more unsettled our home became.  It was hard to see, but even more painful to come to the conclusion that maybe A and J were only supposed to be with us for a short time, not for a lifetime. 

It is hard when the path you thought you were supposed to take, takes a slow and gradual turn in a new direction, but even in these times I have seen Him as well.  I saw Him when I saw the Wid Kids run freely and with joy again.  I saw Him when I watched the stress lifted off my husbands shoulders as he didn’t need to act as defender of me any longer.  I saw Him again as friends reached out and wrapped their arms around me as I grieved the loss of these kids and "my" plans.  And I have seen Him bring restoration and peace to our home and to my own soul.  

"We can make our own plans, but the Lord determines our steps." Proverbs 16:9

I had mentioned in last years letter that I am a slow learner.  Nothing has changed and I still am.  I am learning that I don’t control anything.  My God and Savior, who never messes up, is in control of everything.  He has been from the very beginning of time.  He never once has failed in the past and He hasn’t failed in our situation either.  A and J are His children.  He has a plan for them and I am learning to trust that His plan was for us to plant seeds.  Please join us in praying for them.  Praying that the seeds planted will have already taken root and that those baby roots will be nourished.  That they will continue to hear the words, He loves you! You are important.  You are not a mistake.  He came to earth as a tiny baby to SAVE YOU, to LOVE YOU, to HEAL YOU, to make you new in Him. 

As I think about the things I am hoping they are hearing, I have to pause and remind myself to hear those same words about myself.  He SAVES  ME, LOVES ME, HEALS ME and makes me new. Although my story is different than I thought it might be, it is still my story... HIS STORY.  
I hope you know those truths as well this Christmas and every day of the year. 

Merry Christmas from The Widmaiers

God is Good- by Dustin Kensrue
Even when it seems the answer's no
The promises of God all find their Yes
In Christ who worked the Father's will below
That all who run to him would find their rest

And even when it seems he hides his face
And darkness seems to be our only friend
We look to Christ who suffered in our place
That one day all our suffering would end

God is good, all of the time
All of the time, God is good
God is good, all of the time
All of the time, God is good

And even when it seems he pays no mind
We have a guarantee of his great love
In Christ who came and left his crown behind
That one day we would reign with him above

Lord, we believe
But help our unbelief
Lord, we believe
But help our hearts to sing

That you are good, all of the time
All of the time, you are good
You are good all, of the time
Your are good
Lord, you are good

1 comment:

Linda said...

Oh Bonnie I was so blessed and encouraged by your testimony of faith in this post. You, Dave and the kids had to clearly lean on God every step of this difficult journey, and He is showing you His plan for A and J. It takes real faith to travel a road leading to a place that is different than you planned. May those seeds your family lovingly planted in A and J continue to bear fruit in their future, and may your family be that much closer and stronger for having experienced this. Your heart is precious.(I don't see any pictures?)